saD neW yEar..

iS a rEaLi sAd neW yEaR foR mE..nT a HapI onE..aLL i wAn iS a haPi lIFe..nT tHe lIfE of cRyIng , eMoiNg oR sOmeTinG eLse Tat maKe mE fEel sUcks...bT tDy..Is rEaLi DamN sucKs..waT a nEw YeaR fOr Me..

mayBE..

maybe tis will be the last time we will be together lyk tat..coz every1 gt their own life d...so..gud luck fren...

hey..don knw wat to say..jst wish u..

wIsH u N ur bEloVed one Cn bE tOgetheR fOreVeR n eVer...

aNd..

alwAYs bE haPi...

oNE moRe..

bE mAtURe tOO...

dOn aLwAys CRy...

anD..

dOn aLWaYs cOmpLaIn tOO..

wOrK lo..

tirEd..

nid wOrK uNtiL 1am...

zzz...

bt...

no ChoIce...

cOz No $$$$$$$$$..

fOr My eNteRtainMeNT..

Adam Lambert

damn cool...>.<

i tink i will bcome gay!!!

iS tHe sAme cHristmas fOr mE...

maybe i nt tat lucky...

bt it's okay...

I'm use to it...

coming!!!

wow..

Christmas is coming..

n still gt few hours oni..

haha..

so excited...

why??

coz every year christmas...

i ' m always alone at home...

bt tis year..

i reali hope thr is someting new for me...

hehe..hoping...

MerYRy ChRisTmas eVeryoNe...

oN thE wAy tO genting n aT gEntInG..

we r in LOndon Nw...

wow..5 superhero...

wow...am i crazy...haha..i lyk tis pic..

herm...jst upload few photo nia...others i tink no nid...haha...

wAT a wEEk at tampin....n kl too..

cute??i tink so..nt mine..don knw whch sakai 1..haha..nt sakai..my cousin de bear..TAMPIN

nice??ya..Christmas decoration at 1UTAMA...in KL

am i hugging the bear??OMG....TAMPIN

i oni take few pic oni..coz no time to take..bt veri fun...

cRazY...

soRRRy....

i reali feel sorry to myself...

i betray myself...

i make myself confused...

i make myself suffer...

and...

reali sorry...

a bit tired..

After few month we together...i feel tired...coz every time we sms or chat...u treat me veri cold..i din do anyting wrong...y mst every time treat me lyk tat...u treat me few time , i ok... i din say anyting...everytime i wil try to avoid frm quarel or wat..thx GOD..i did it..bt pls i reali don wan end up our relationship lyk tat..if u nt hapi , u jst say...don wan keep it...coz i don knw wat happen...n important ting...i don knw wat r u tinking...i knw tat ur past , u was a ply gal...bt i don mind...coz i believe in u...bt i reali hope u don treat me lyk tat..coz i m ur bf..n if u don love me jst say , i m okay... bt i reali care 4 u...

nEw liFe..

tis article is special introduce to my fren...herm..my love 1...actuali i knw her quite sometime..bt we seldom talk..we oni talk through sms...she bigger den me..she tis year form six...bt i don care hw old she is..so after i settle myself n confirm tat i reali love her tat time..i oni express to her..bt first time i express to her through phone , she tot tat i was joking wth her...coz she cant believe tat i reali like her...haha..coz i din take any action...bt after few hour we talk on the phone...she finally say yes...den we jiu together d..bt at sch no 1 will believe tat i wth her..coz every1 stil tinking tat i still love the gal tat i fall in love for almost 3 years...bt slowly everything settle down...so tat hw we begin...

no TiTTLE..........

herm..long time no cum here n update my blog le...y??coz wan exam lo...damn busy..stdy stdy stdy oni...n most important ting is I OUT OF SHAPE ALRDY!!!!!OMG...nw veri fat le...T.T...hw...bt nvm..lucky my exam i cn do..EXCEPT for ADD MATH n AKAUN...ppl say damn easy..bt 4 me..haiz...no comment..haha..nvm...bt tis few week..i realize somting..tat is i tink too much...i don understand y bcoz of small matter , i can tink tat the world is going to end..izzit nt mature??ya..i tink so..my mei n my love 1 always sy tat i tink too much..haha...i tink is true ba..bt at least thy knw i reali care abt them...erm...k ba..until here...

izziT haRd??

hard or easy??

4 me is hard...

lol...

don knw why so hard...

it really piss me off...

arghhhh...

lOng tiMe nO sO eNjOy le...

Jan Shen , Ah yi n mE...y me always so ugly de...==

fuyoo..tis is JAY TAN... (singing de) ...... Yi...don EMO...haha

tdy quite happy...i went out frm my house at 9am...damn early...den went my fren house..after tat my mom fetch us to bus stop..==...y don wan straight away to mp leh...lol...nvm..den we sat bus lor..no choice...we reach melaka centre at 9.30am...den we go take our breakfast first coz damn hungry...we went to melaka cantre the chicken rice shop...eat lo...after tat we straight away to mp...den we walk to DP de dreambox...wah...u knw wat i saw...so many leng lui...haha...bt no choice...coz i too loyal the 1 i love...so jst c nia...bt my fren heart itchi..ask me to take number..lol..i say i don wan n nt brave enough...hahaha...den we went lor...==..we sang 4 three hours...wah..damn tired...i mean my throat...lol...one of my fren , name : Tan Silk Shen , he call himself ''JAY TAN"..haha...coz he oso a big fan of JAY CHOU...he steal ppl mike n don let other sing...lol...bt quite funny la...we sang mostly JAY song...still gt two more fren...1 is AH YI n another is JIAN SHEN(guai shu shu) hope din spell wrong his name...hahaha...all r nt same sch wth me..two of them r frm SFI n another 1 is frm MALIM SCH...

after 3 hours SS in the room , we wan to hve our lunch..bt one of my fren still full...so we don wan to eat...den we went to the last floor...erm...a lot game there..so we ply lor...haha..later my fren say wan go back d...so we accompany him untill the place whr he wait 4 is bro...after tat , we went 4 JT..we go there jst 2 ply game n jalan-jalan..haha...a while alrdy 6pm...lol...now damn hungry...so we went 4 dinner at A&W...jst two of us..ME n AH YI..haha...after tat hve to go home le..coz my fren gt tuition so no choice la..

hope nxt time can go again...n hope nxt time will be more different...

bCOz sMall MAttER fIgHT....

Fren...hahaha...fren...i have a fren...he's my first fren tat i veri close to since i transfer here..form 2 tat time , we always hang out together... we always share our secret...nt oni tat , if we have some problem we always try to solve it together..jst like brother..we always cycle together during tat time...coz he live in same taman wth me...tat time i fall in love wth a gal...i call her as"k"...tat gal was special to me tat time...so i decide to chase her..bt after few months , i oni found out tat , the gal oso is the 1 who my fren like...bt he din even angry or wat , when i tell him tat i like tat gal infront of him...he keep quiet..until tat day i knw...i oso feel sori 4 him..bt in the mean time, he fell in love wth another gal..i cal her as" Y "...so he tell me he like her...so as a fren..i decide to help him..hahaha...gt 1 time during PJ time , we ply football...den he fell down n broke his arm...tat time i try to help him...bt bcome lagi worst...den he went to hospital to do operation...tat time i feel a bit regret n sori 4 him..untill nw oso the same..

Den form 3..the second year i knw him...tat year we same class...we still the same...our relationship bcome better den b4...n he fell in wth tat gal nearly 1 year...bt still haven together..so i always try my best to help him...me oso the same...still haven be wth the gal i like..bt tat year isa our exam year...we had to take PMR..so everyting delay...

Den when come to form 4...everyting had change..it bcome more worst..we can say tat , we always fight..bcoz a bit of small matter den we fight...bt at last , we still back together...tat year our relationship become more n more worst...sometimes we fight are bcoz of gal...a bit jiu fight..nw tink back veri childish...

And now form 5 already...this was the forth year i knw him...tis year we having our veri last exam , tat is SPM...so we mst well prepare...tis 4 years i knw him , he make me change a lot...he always tease me my result nt gud...n always fail...so i geram...n he make me to study well in order make him nvr tease me anymore...i try veri hard...bt at last oso kena tease...so i put him as my rival in sch...hahaha...nt oni tat , tis year is his 17 birthday..so i decide to buy a watch 4 him...coz he don have watch..one oso don have...den gt 1 day , the gal tat she like sms me , ask me wat i buy for his buffday present...i say don knw yet..den she wan share wth me..so i say ok lo..gt 1 time , tat gal talk to me infront of me , he gt angry...after tuition he beat me...one time nia la...den he walk away...i was blur...n nvr tot tat he gt angry..bt when he found out tat is me n the gal talk is all abt his present , another day he say sori to me...bt i say is fine...den start frm tat day i nvr talk wth him abt gal...untill nw...den after few months , he found some1...den tat gal bcome her girlfriend...i was happy 4 him...so i n my fren always tease him "wah..gt gf wor.."haha..funny...den untill tis RAYA HOLIDAYS...one week holidays , so i ask wan go out mah ?? he say ok lo..bt he say he bring along wth his gf lo..so i tink n tink again...nt gud la..coz will b ppl big BULB...so i decide go wth my other fren lo..he say ok lo...den nxt 2 days , he ask me again , when i go out , i say on friday..wth my other sch fren...he say no ajak him.. den i say u go wth ur gf mah , tat day u say de...he straight away gt angry..tat time i so damn angry..i gt ajak him , den he say no...lol..den bcoz of small matter we fight...haiz....childish...1 of my fren ask me to back together...lol...i say i din do anyting wrong...y is me...lol...i gt ajak , say i no ajak...nvm...is fine...i tink 5 years frenship will end here ba...if back together again , i oso don knw when will fight again...tired...

huRt...

A few hour ago...i saw something that make me feel sad n frustrated....i really don understand wat had i done to deserve all this pain...i feel tat i nt really exist at all..izzit i did something tat make u all nt happy or wat!!!i don understand...am i ur fren???i keep asking myself...will a fren betray or hurt u??i always look further n nt to look back...hw u all tease me , hw u all hate me , i really don care about it...bt at least nt be two faces person...make me feel sick...if u all really don like me , den y u all fren wth me???u all can jst tink tat i m nt really exist...if u all really wan fren wth me , den don ever talk or do something ugly to me...i have feeling..is really hurt...now...i really don knw who is my real fren...i don knw who i can talk to...everthing have change...my life worst than before...nt like the old time...everything have change...bt why me!!!if u all nt happy wth me , den jst say it out!!!don keep it...why u all keep it...bt i really did nothing wrong...i try nt talk much , coz i scare i accidently will hurt u all feeling...i try to keep a distance to u all , coz i scare my attitude will make u all feel nt happy...i try to keep quiet all the time , coz i don wan talk much...if nt maybe there will be something happen...all i try to do is to avoid some fight or hatred...bt u all don understand...u all will jst say that i m acting cool...bt is fine...i m ok wth tat...i jst don understand why because of small matter we fight...izzit childish...come on man...i too tired to ply tat type of game...if don be fren , den jst DON...i m ok wth it...all the while i m alone...so if i don have fren...is ntg to me...

secr.........

If I had to live my life without you near me

The days would all be empty

The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever oh so clearly

I might have been in love before

But it never felt this strong

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

The world may change my whole life through

But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy

Our love will lead a way for us

Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

You don't have to change a thing

I love you just the way you are

So come with me and share the view

I'll help you see forever too

And

I don't want to live without you....

Thx a LOT...

18-August-2009

haha...

tat day was my 17 birthday...

i really wan to thx to all my fren...

for their wishes n present...

i really appreciate it...

thx a lot...

n oso i wan to thx to my sis..

for her recording...

n i really lyk it...

bt...

tat day someting was missing...

bt its ok...

Thx oR Shui....

22-August-2009

the history day of my life

i....

accident....

ridding a motorcycle...

den pom....

gve ppl laugh...

haha...

haiz...

no choice...

but...

is a gud experience for me...

n thx God i m still here...

NT Veri NicE...

Nt veri nice...or nt nice at all...n oso veri dark nt tat clear...its nt complete...bt nvm...i wan to thx to my fren...lao kao...help me 2 ply guitar...n oso boon way...help me 2 sing a bit....thx...i wan to say sori to lao kao coz i sing nt tat gud...hahaha...malu oni...n oso my fren who support me...thx...i oso gt sing wrong at certain part...haha..hope don mind...if u all don mind can leave some comment abt the place i should improve or correct my mistake...thx...

at last....

Fuuf.....

At last........

finish liao.....

so tired....

bt nt tat good....

disappoint....

but....

i learn a lot of ting....

THX GOD.....

THX MY FREN....(bulu dong , big head , faiz , hamtaro , kura , tweety , derek , lao kao , jee xiang n lot more)

AND...

THX MY TEACHERS...

change...

Life...

has change...

now...

full of confusion...

sadness...

hatred...

no one will understand...

is not easy...

to become a good person...

is hard...

to become a bad person...

is easy...

no one will realize the ting u have done...

but..

they oni realize the mistake u have done...

is it fair to me...

or is a game to me....

n i don like game...

if i really have to ply the game...

i will accept it....

n i going shut ur bloody mouth up...

hate....but....

i very hate it...

but i cant control it...

is very pain...

there is no cure...

patient....

is nt my type....

don knw how...

oni can keep quiet...

there is no one...

is lonely....

scary....

ask for help...

jst like talk to the wall...

ask for happiness...

it wont last forever...

the one i believe...

the one i feel sad...

tired...

have to keep moving...

give up...

nt the time...

but....

i have enough of everyone....

i m tired now...

bleeding....

hurt

pain

sad

lonely

hate

bt......

i have no choice...

don knw...

these few months i realize tat my relationship wth other alrdy had a gap between them...i cant fully believe them...n sometimes i really angry wth them...maybe there r someting happen between us n we don knw how to say it out...so we jst keep inside our heart...n i oso don knw whr did i wrong..or y i hate them so much...or someting.....so i really don knw to solve tis problem...

erm....

Yoo~

long time no updATE~

N a bIt QuieT here~

nEW LifE sTaRt ,

NEw gAmE coMe ,

onE wOrLd ,

tWo dReAm ,

nO wOrlD ,

nO DreAm ,

PeAceFul loVe ,

noIsy hAte ,

cRy StuPid ,

smiLe idIot ,

loNeLy hAppY ,

couPLe sUcKs.....

THX~

true?? or i m just cant accept it..

i always wonder what i really have in my life..but now i already found the answer....i have nothing..i m useless..ya.. i have to agree..sometimes my friends say ''i m good at nothing''...is true...i really good at nothing...all i only know is do nothing..i always scare one day maybe i will just kill myself and let go everything in my life...so i can live happily in the other world without any worry , pressure and sadness...i always worry about others but when i m worry about others some people will start to think that i m so busybody and like to show something...but i really don care what you think or talk about me..but please don let the whole world know i m the bad guy...coz i m innocent...and that your thinking...not others ..you all can hate me but i still have feeling...i don want bcoz of something that i did make you feel sick or what , please don say it out or do something that will hurt me or make me worry about myself....every night before i sleep i will always think back what i really had done to make someones hate me...i really have nothing to do with it...i m begging you all , please let me go...i m not that strong..although i can accept everything but doesn't mean that i cant be hurt...

when i was born i was very naive coz i still a baby...i don know everything...i thought that this world is full of beautiful colour and i also thought that if we want to success , the important thing is we must not give up easily and work hard for it..but now , i already know that i m wrong...coz every time i work so hard but i still also cant get what i want...not only that i also been look down by others people...i still remember one of my friend and my family told me that '' you cant do it and you have nothing..you also have to look at your own standard coz you are not good enough'' i really sad n i just keep quiet...i always wonder , is it true that i really cant do it...

SoRrY

you know wat..sometimes i oso hate myself 4 going something tat i hate but i have to do...coz i been force to do...i cant control myself...maybe tis oso part of my attitude or wat...coz sometimes when i get angry or mad , i wont think before i talk..n i have already hurt a lot ppl with my bad attitude..n now i really have to say ''i 'm sorry''.....

sAd , tiReD , cOnFusEd

sad?? i don wan to be sad....n always wan to be happy..bt i jst cant do it...i always don care about wat other people tink about me , say about me...bt nw i jst cant take it anymore...hahahaha...bt i still can pretend it tat i still veri happy...maybe tis way can make others nt worry about me..

tired??ya..damn tired...no time to rest...many homework , many ting to read , many ting to plan , many ting to worry....lol....nw life is like tis 1...so no choice...

confused??erm...ya damn confused...don knw wat others people think about me...n they just cant understand my feeling...they taught tat i m already dead...so they can say whatever they like....no choice...coz i m the special one...so tat y i m so famous...

camp.....

ONe niTe sTanD CaMp

DaTE: 6 jUnE 2009

VeNue: SMK tUN hAji AbDuL mAlek

TiMe: 7am-11pm

$$$$ : RM 10 - RM 20

OrGaNiZed bY : " ThE OnE ''

CluB : sCout , gAl gUiDe , PbSm , KaraTe-Do

AcTiviTieS

sEcTion 1

• MeNtoS
• BiNgO
• SBSS
• AlOnE In tHe DarK
• No cHanCE

SecTioN 2

• RuN fOR lIfE
• U cAn RuN BuT u CanT hIdE

SeCTiOn 3

• BBQ tImE
• dAnCe N SinG aLOnG
• U muSt sAy iT!!

My pRojEct 4 2009...Hope u all can gve some comment on my project..or gve some idea 4 my activities...Thx...

tHe oNe...

This time , I wonder what it feels like to find the one in this life.. the one we all dream of.. But dreams just aren't enough..So I'll be waiting for the real thing..I'll know it by the feeling..The moment when we're meeting maybe this will be the starting..not only that , maybe we straight away to the silver screen or maybe to have a date...who know...Tonight Out on the street, out in the moonlight ..And, damn it, this feels too right for us...but just a dream...until the moment that i stand be side you , is this will be the end?? or is it that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with??There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere ..There's gotta be somebody for me out there..and also the person is very special...You can't give up,When you're looking' for a diamond in the rough..Because you'll never know when it will shows up..Make sure you're holding' on..Cause nobody wants to go it on their own..And everyone wants to know they're not alone..

tired man...

lol...

exam n my tournament at the same time...

OMG..

tired....

cant focus...

exam...

tournament...

don know which to focus...

not oni tat...

my exam n tournament is 24 hours away from now...

==!!!!!

Happy Birthday.... 2009

my two little brothers birthday.....

1-Derrick

2-Clement

my family....my dad , my mom , n my two brothers....

First meeting...

Describe-------

>>hot

>>busy

>>enjoy

>>nice

>>noisy

>>kek tao

>>no place to sit

>>a lot of new member

>>new teacher

>>n new wise president....

haha..not me lar....my fren...

bt i oni gt PRESIDENT nia.....

wakakaka....

hate...

hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hatehate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate..

last chance n last year...

Last year of sch...n oso tis is oso the last year i represent sch in badminton competition...tis time i hope tat i can be the CHAMP...haha...but i tink i ''can'' lar...coz kawasan tanjung is the most ''easy'' to be the CHAMP...n i will be...haha...dreaming....tis year i ply two event...one is single n another is double...haha..it will be fun...n i cant wait for it...

2 FEBRUARY the games START....

don knw wat to say!!!!

lol.....no comment....u knw wat happen tat day....haha...so embarrassing....we enter the wrong classs....lol....how can it happen rite.....i oso don knw....may be we too blur...or we too 'clever'....haha...actualy tat day we wan to tuition chemist but we enter to physics class...after 30 minutes oni we realize tat we enter the wrong class...lol.....funny izzit....so laugh as much as u wan....lol....then later we come out frm the class...tat time i tink already 9.00 o'clock...tat time we jst wan to enter the chemist class...after we enter....everybody look at us...haha....-.-''....then we find a place n sit...then sir continue his lesson...honestly i very blur tat time...coz we stuck at the half way..haha...