new year...

happy new year....

now i at tampin and alrdy 1.40am....i tink yesterday(31 December)i had a very wonderful day n was a last day of 2008...y i feel so happy...erm...i tink these few week i had gone through a lot of tings n at last i solve it..no more worry..but still gt a bit worry..now i feel more mature n hope 2009 will be better than 2008...how i celebrate...haha...a bit special n a bit simple...after finishing playing badminton with my senior , we (ah liang , lao kai , my uncle n me) go count down..u knw how we celebrate...haha...we eat satay...lol...n we sat there for about 3 hours...siao...we eat until 12.00am...so geng...four of us eat 100 stick of satay..wah...now canot slp...so kek tao...we sat there talk n talk...although our age were different by 10 years n 20 years but we can talk like we r the same age...lol...talk a lot of fei hua...then at last 2008 had past..at tat moment i make a wish..n i hope my wish will come true...

happy new year...

two days to go..

two days to go , then my final friendly match will begin...tis time is a bit different from my other friendly match..coz tis time is ''TAMPIN VS ALOR GAJAH TEAM''..so i tink will be a very nice game n a good ending place for me ...coz tis two months i had gone through a lot of hard times with my performance n i finally gt it back..n i should be proud of myself..

still gt 49 hours before the final match begin..

back..

hi everyone...i m back...but still not yet fully recover...tis time i wan to write about the experience tat i nearly wan to give up my life on tat day...ya...i knw...may be a lot people say tat i m too stupid n easily give up my life...but tat time i really wan to give up n the feeling i had were totally different...n my head just keep on telling me , ''i already tired of living in tis world''...but at last i din common suicide...when i wan to die tat time , i suddenly realize tat there are still a lot of ting i nt yet complete n there are a lot people r still care abt me...the important ting are '' i don wan to let the one tat i care , i respect n i love to worry abt me''..tat the reason tat nw i m still standing here n whatever happen to me in the future u r still the person i care abt much than any1 in the world..i promise to u n all my family ''i will continue my life no matter how hard izzit''..

my life is gone...

tdy morning abt 2.30am i watch a movie , name ' secret '..tat movie i already watch before..bt tat time i don knw y i want to watch it again..nt because of tat movie is nice bt there is some kind of feeling inside me n force me to watch it again..i like to watch tis movie because when they play the piano my hand start to move...its weird i knw...bt nvm lar...while watching the movie...i cry..haha..long time no cry already...tat movie make me cry n suddenly i feel tat i m inside the movie...looks like i m going to the world...i knw its weird..but it's true..the part tat i cry is the guy feel in love with the gal tat he cannot love n the girl already dead..the guy don care abt her past n the guy throw away his future n back to the past because of tat gal..n the movie end here..now already 4.42am...i haven't sleep yet..in tis movie i learn tat don care how people look at you , n always be yourself..i learn it but i cant do it..i always care about people look at me , n never be myself before...the EUGENE tat my friends knw is like talk in class , very clever , arrogrant , selfish n has a lot of friend...but i tink tat EUGENE is not me...i don like to talk , i m nt tat clever , i m nt tat arrogrant , i m nt selfish n i don have much friends in my life..i prefer myself to be alone..i hate myself for being such a failure n for nt being myself...i wan to change myself back to the EUGENE tat i knw n not everyone knw..but i cant..i just feel tired of being other people..now i just feel tat i hate everyone in tis world..n i feel tat one day , they might betray me..tat y people say tat i m a coward..ya..it's true i m a coward..i m a coward because i have feeling..i like to help people..but some other people tink tat i wan close to the people n wan to knw a lot of people..n some other tink tat i m a person tat very action , like to show off..so they tink tat when i help people , i can show off wat i really gt..i just wan to say if u all tink tat i m the type of person..PLEASE leave me alone..n i have enough of it..people think tat i m perfect actually i have nothing...i like to play badminton..i always think tat badminton will be my second life n never give up..i have been go for training for almost 9 years..but tat day has come..i went back to my hometown to play badminton with my coach friend...n i had a most lousy game in my life...my coach friend say tat '' I HAVE BEEN GO FOR TRAINING FOR SO MANY YEARS BUT PLAY LIKE A PERSON THAT DON KNW HOW TO PLAY BADMINTON ''..n he say '' BETTER STOP TRAINNING LIAO ONI WASTE MY TIME ''..after i heard i feel like i m such a loser n feel shameful to myself..i m very dissapoint of myself tat time..i ask myself ''wat wrong with me?'' why i m such a loser..i feel sad n i cant forgive myself..ya...i nt tat clever...since i start to read book tat time , i already hate to study..tat y my result all the while is very bad..now...i feel tat i really a loser..nothing i can do..now oni regret..it's too late...next year already spm..m i ready? no at all..n my father company is going to close..wat can i do..i can do nothing..just sit down there n watch...a lot of thing has change only in a few minutes...ya..i admit i have a lot of friends...but who is the one who really wan to be your friend..ya it's true..form 2 , form 3 n form 4 , i always talk in the class n like to joke with people...but i feel tired now...i have a tough year..n i really have enough of it...

cHanGe LoR..

everyone has change

i nearly cant recognize my primary fren

n i still the same

hahaha

WHY..

Why?
Why'd it all end?

Why all the pain?

Why's the sunshine gone?

Why again all the rain?

Why all the lies?

Why all the heartache?

Why all the tears?

Why the painful cries?

Why all the fears?

Why's the bond we once had, now all gone?

Why is it that you are so far away,

yet you still feel so near?

Why can't I let go?

Why can't I just face the truth?

Why i m such a coward....

Once is enough

-----------------------------
Purity once had a name,

And beauty once had a face.

Life once had a meaning,

And once I was safe.

Once there was freedom,

And once I could laugh.

Happiness once was alive,

And once I had another half.

Once I shared her love,

Once I was by her side,

Once I felt I fitted,

So quickly that died.

Her grace so great,

Her beauty so vast,

All I ever wanted,

Was for it to last.

Fate maybe had another plan,

Or maybe she had another love,

But it all fell apart,

The hand too big for the glove.

Now it's all died away,

Happiness, joy, love; all memories.

Now I walk alone in this dark,

dark world,

With no light to guide my way.

Empty n Confuse

A warm sensation fills my body

My heart races with every touch

The softness of your voice soothes

My soul

As I lay there hoping the moment

Will never end

The sensation so strong

I can no longer feel my body

Slowly I fade in and out of reality

In an instant the warm sensation

Fades away

My heart empty

My soul torn apart

Lying there;

wondering where I wentWrong

Calling out for you,

only to find there is no answer

My mind invaded with thoughts

So cruel and unrefined

The sensation of fear of what's to come

Slowly the reality over powering

The lust and fantasy

Leaving me empty

Confused on how to think or feel

The loneliness I feel

So wretched and compelled

Betrayal to myself

Revealing the terrors of my love ..

Don wOrRy Be hAppy...

I could have held you all night long,

I could have laid next to you forever,

But then I know tomorrow soon would come,

And still we couldn't be together . . .

I went against what my head was saying,

and followed my heart through,

And instead of quitting while I was ahead,

I started falling in love with you

We had so much fun together,

the memories we made so great,

all those nights laughing and smiling,

staying up so late..

As the snow falls on the sidewalks,

I know this too will pass,

for feelings are like the seasons changing,

and one season never lasts..

So, I know this must stop now,

and tomorrow soon will come,

as we walk away and never look back,

as our warm feelings become numb..

Don knW waT tO Do...

sienz..........

sienz tat time make me feel crazy...n tink a lot ting....

lol....

sometimes after training oso don knw wat to do...

work...after oso don knw wat to do...sienz...

study...ya gt study....bt study a while nia...later jiu zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

boring......

Elysia: wow!!! nice..

Elysia: huh....finish d....so fast...

Elysia: hehe...still gt...no yet finish...

Elysia: wah!!!! nice....i like it...what brand is this....

^^V

HOW GUYS FLIRT:
1. He stares at you alot.
2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting )
3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you
4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school.
5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.
6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.
8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
9. You were invited by him to a group outing.
10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.
11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...
12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation
13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.
14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.)



HOW GIRLS FLIRT:
1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.
2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.
3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.
4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.
5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.
6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.
7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.
8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.
9. You catch her staring at you.
10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.
11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.
12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? )
13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible


Now make a wish...> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>>> >>> >>> >> >>>>>>> >>> >>Ok stop! Your wish will come true ...